It initiates thinking that the student in Senior three commits suicide Education should press close to child's soul

It initiates thinking that the student in Senior three commits suicide Education should press close to child's soul
To a mother in Heilongjiang, at the night of February 28, 2011, have already turned into " night forever " ,Unless because of that piece night, it jump up son of her,it have lives 17 -year-olds one's own stayed forever in on being dark. It is a student of key middle school Senior Three saved in Heilongjiang Province that this network is called the child that Zhu Xiao invited. Begin the end of last year, small to invite decision participate in skill do in the test, then begin tense skill do in the test, train with several rounds of arts having an examination. The small ideal school that invites is China's media university. Though the course of doing in the test in skill is very tense fairly smooth. On February 25, nearly finish participating in " three is tried " which China's media university holds in Beijing small And then get back to Heilongjiang, but only jump out of the building three days later and commit suicide. Everything happens too fast, " he has not for any time to me at alled, has let me make a little more efforts. " To leave suddenly son, let little to invite mum stand " the sharp knife cut out the heart " Like agony,at the same time at every one pieces of one that can't fall asleep at night,last she another kind of getting more boundless agony too: Whether the pressure that I give to him is too large, just let him come to the dead end? What have I done wrong these years? Introspection " must be transcendent " Crush child to be little to invite mother recall son grow up sidelight of the course again and again, attempt to find this tragic reason one from it. It was the clever child fond of play while as a child he was in primary school one year younger than the child of the same class, primary school jump first grade at the 3 grade, " still keep the school grade better-than-average " after skipping a grade . " entering middle school from primary school " When, nearly been admitted to the attached middle school of Harbin Industry University small, " it is very fierce in competition to enter for that school, can only enroll one in 100 children. " Invited it in mother's words while as a child, it is her pride to recognize the son. Though the little achievement that invited has been good all the time, the high school entrance examination performs not very ideal, narrowly miss with ideal Kazakhstan Normal University attached middle school only with several point differences. This may be little invite the first failure in study history. Key high school saved this of hometown in high to put into several classes on arts and science for the moment, on choosing liberal arts to be still the science, little to make an appointment to produce very great difference with parents. It is invited and liked reading since childhood that it is small. "Just in primary school, he can already read independently, and could read the story for other classmates. " Mother has trained small since childhood what has been arranged has read the interest. Once, a small to invite one it reads competence to be pride of mother. Unity and coherence in writing, at the branch, it loves reads to be light to invite, hope, choose liberal arts certainly, but, parents consider in terms of child's long-term development, hope the son is chosen science. The enormous pressure lets him go all out to fight this difference and end up with the small failure that invites. " the reason why I persuade him is his Chinese achievement, " Invite mother to say small, it is small though read the surface very widely while making an appointment, eloquence is fine, can spoken master, however, the little composition achievement that invites is unsatisfactory, " his mode of thinking is always out of the common, college entrance examination composition has certain set pattern, he always takes the course of its own without coming according to the set pattern, so the achievement is always not high. " Like, publicize individual character, can't take the intersection of Chinese and high score, small to have " abandon gentle from cut " nearly (used after a verb to indicate the completion of an action). After entering Senior Three, invite telling mother firmly he wants to participate in the skill and do in the test small. In little to invite mother seem, this seem to be son return to end of liberal arts fight, meanwhile, little to invite mother think examination paper that skill test the sea and sky are boundless further, can give play to the son's intelligence and wisdom even more too. But let whom mother has not expect, the son's choice seem as if the gambling: "He only wants to take part in the entrance exam of China's media, the other schools do not all consider, does not leave a way for retreat for oneself at all. " Till now, invite mother to all feel guilty deeply all the time small, blame oneself and has not found earlier children have been in the extremely tired out state all the time, blame oneself to fail to realize children are taking the single-plank bridge, blamed oneself and trained reading the interest to the high school to strangle his interest again of the child while as a child, blame oneself chat, criticize oneself for have too high expectations, criticize oneself for require son child with him seldom after the high school on the son " Must be transcendent " Expert's pressure is a soul black hole that can't be seen clearly In fact little to invite mother give light to invite too large pressure, the intersection of they and Mr. and Mrs. have to the little other parents of expectation who invite: Who does not hope one's own child is better? But, why does the tragedy just take place and invite on one's body small? " good child " Pressure big "we ignore by one of phenomena all the time: Pressure that child bear have some come from not external, but large pressure take at the external pressure child. " Famous education expert Sun YunXiao says. Sun YunXiao introduces, the forming of one's habit should usually pass through three stages: The first is passive stage, it is shown as and complied with that people have more behaviors at this moment, comply with external requirement and pressure; The second is initiative stage, it is shown as and approved that the person has more behaviors at this moment, approve and come from external requirement and pressure; Third automatic stage, already come from external requirement and pressure totally take inside people at this moment, behavioral motive force comes from oneself. This is easy to explain why so many is in the everybody eyes " The good child " Choose, commit suicide, because they easy take in the external pressure, make as them good enough, they do not forgive oneself, they are not more tolerant to oneself. So far unable to forget one 13 -year-old the intersection of Ningxia and little girl dawn cloud Sun. The little girl hung oneself on the day of graduation ceremony of primary school to commit suicide. Extremely grieved when her Papa and Mama see the child's testament. The child wrote: Father, mother, I pieces of bad student and I have good mark, key middle school at the I, I have died, can save 100,000 yuan for you. Parents want to think again, they have never told child the thing not spending 100,000 yuan yet well of doing in the test. But discussed to the neighbour: So-and-so is the middle school spending money going, it must almost spend 100,000 yuan to come down in six years. Who know but the chat that not be in the mood for let child conscientiously. Our educational objective " Run partially " " want you know, panic in childhood when what let. In childhood, because children face the enormous pressure, can't understand, can't bear, and a kind of anxiety produced. And this kind of fear is filling the air in the teenage child more and more terribly. " Sun YunXiao says, such enormous fear and pressure have been melted in the child, what a pain in the neck this is! " whether because educational objective of us succeed instead of happy, " Sun YunXiao says, though parents, school and teacher have not thrown the pressure to the child directly for some time in the course of educating the child, but give to children consciously or unconsciously, selectively Information appears: We often tell children being admitted to a university is successful; We often frighten the child, if does not study hard, parents should pay and work hard more; We often tell children, if will let down teacher and parents if not studying hard In order to encourage children, we do not spread out one in route of retreat, road not exported in front of the child. Then, from childhood, the children have not been chosen strong requirement and pressure of melting around in the ground quietly, "it becomes a black hole of soul, is causing the fatal injury to child. " Sun YunXiao says, when taking to certain extent at the child's pressure, it is a kind of inevitable choice to look for and free. China is blue and green

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