Rely on, seek others approving Family education is improper to cause" Low self-respect "
Because ultra the intersection of queen and shellfish accept the plastic surgery accident cause death, a lot of people wonder beautiful then shellfish Wang, why accept the plastic surgery? The cosmetic circle tells, 80% of the persons who accept the plastic surgery is to give an added grace to what is already beautiful! There are some people, because " self- acceptance " Difference, so rely on the external affirmation very much. Call person with this kind of personality speciality on psychology " Low self-respect " Person. It is most beautiful to ask the first, achievement and ask the first, appearance to ask the examination,etc., they hope that it is " best " to get Appraisal,Israel realize self-value. Because destiny does not grasp in one's own hands, they always feel future is not examined, disaster (fail) Will come, so anxious, frightened, some will suffer from psychological disease. And to educate the ideas of people a great deal of now such as we, it is to train " low self-respect " Rich soil! Interview experts: Nanjing the intersection of city and psychological crisis intervene Zhang Chun 1 low self-respect person, director of centre, seek, approve say herein " Self-respect " ,It was not we that usually say " This person's self-esteem is very strong " Meaning,as personality every one of speciality,to be simple, " whether like people by one's own intensity" . The person of low self-respect, self- acceptance is bad, always rely on, seek others' approval, did not think others approved, had no value oneself. Find out for a time ultra daughter Han Zhen of the family really says: "Just unrealisticallying compare every day, than one's own popularity and bean vermicelli, were short of a bean vermicelli when the competition was finished, there is that kind of fear " Exceed queen's shellfish? She has been originally already very beautiful, but she herself did not think so, she talks about oneself " there is much meat of round face " ," such a big face did not appear yet in the star " ,So she wants a plurality of facial plastic operation such as the eye, nose, lower jaw to do together, " others will say oneself is the beauty like this " ,She can move ahead all the way through the popularity. There is a junior college student in Nanjing, applies for the assistant manager of a big company, after receiving and employing the notice, but is told, this hillock has already changed to engage others, change to other departments for her, it is on duty that she refuses. It is reported, she is on duty to work as the assistant that carry, the education are higher than that of she, the feature compares with her, should say that differs from one another, but she insists on being regarded as the other side more beautiful than oneself, then begin to accept the plastic surgery, decorate eyes first, let eyes have spirit even more bigger; Now and plan " Rub the face " ,Make into fashion such as Fan Bingbing " The small face " . 2 high self-respect person promotes the person of one's own high self-respect, like oneself, think oneself is a valuable person, feels oneself is worth others' respecting. For instance, Zhou LiBo says: "My heart is strong enough, I just should say me if talking as a public personage, how much is the bean vermicelli, I do not mind at all! " The person of high self-respect, because there is good self- acceptance, can confirm one's own strong point, so can relatively accept the personal weak point. For instance, there are woman bosses of the foreign trade company over 40 years old in location in Nanjing, bodily form is round and fat, when the friend has a get-together, find her fat in a circle, always good heart advice: "You will reduce weight. " But she will smile at so that the spray is said messily and quiverly: "Fat what is reduced, it is fat that my husband is not tired of me. " Her company opens pretty well, so she does not mind a one's own one is fat. The person of high self-respect, while admitting one's own weakness, are not regarded as the excuse escaped, and will improve oneself hard. For instance, suffer from stuttering disease at the time of the angle honour in Japanese former prime minister field, the teenager, but go into politics, there must be eloquent eloquence, he is determined to overcome stutteringly for this, acquaint eloquence in training, he often reads aloud, reads the text slowly, in order to pronounce accurately, the position that he is facing toward the mirror and correct the mouth and root of the tongue, he even goes to the place to practise lecturing in winter. Aristotle said more than 2,000 years ago " Beauty is the best reference " . The appearance is paid attention to by everybody as the most direct media which people exchange with people. So the people of high self-respect can go to accept the plastic surgery too, but its behavior motive comes from and " improves oneself " correctly Concern,they to raising on the ones one's own interested in dignity and public profile. For instance, there is a manageress of development department of 38 -year-old project. Born the flat nose, others talked about beauty in public uglily originally, especially nose, she always can't help covering one's own nose, after making and accepting the plastic surgery to underlay the nose, she says: " I am more self-confident at once! " " needn't worry when job-hopping afterwards " . I decide in my destiny that approve oneself, " " ,The woman boss of company of that foreign trade, that manageress of development department is not perfect, but very self-confident happiness of heart. 3 low self-respect person's unhappy low self-respect person of life, because oneself has bad acceptance, the self-value needs others to assert, heart is always greatly upset, and feel anxious fully. Anxious,it mean whether it is uneasy or does not have last that odjective causes obvious to each according to fear. Beautiful and unsurpassed queen in the fairy tale " snow white ", always ask: "Little mirror, little mirror at the wall, is it most beautiful that who should be in the whole country? " Anxious, frightened heart is thus clear. Lady that there is location that has already become plastic operation six or seven times in Nanjing, though the friend thinks her already very beautiful, but she came into and had a facelift the hospital, liposuction, grand nose, grand nose two times ceaselessly Until one day, the hospital has refused her operation requirement. The doctor says: "She should not look for and have a facelift a doctor again, but should go to look for a psychologist. " There is a 27 -year-old young man, have always felt in the past two years one's own nose is long and aslant, diminish the handsome image, fear to see people, though the friend around has not found his nose is aslant. He dissuades from regardless of family, does 4 face-lifts in a hospital, spends more than 70,000 yuan together, the nose was not corrected all the time " Straight " Come over. Now he watches many times every day that one's own in the mirror " Aslant " Nose, very angry, plan, accept the plastic surgery these the hospital lodges a complaint. It is nearly suffered from that the psychological expert thinks him already anxious " The body looks obstacle " (used after a verb to indicate the completion of an action). The boss of Shanghai Volkswagen that committed suicide several years ago Fang Hong, was a person of the low self-respect too. In stranger's view, he is very successful, but he is unsatisfied with oneself. He wants to handle the career and family perfectly, but he finds he can not do, he tries his best to do, still crisis-ridden. Before committing suicide, and then great faces a very great difficult problem, namely according to the regulation, he employed the foreign currency to pay German side a profit, but he can not raise the foreign currency for the moment, this makes side that always stresses credit very much great and feels headache very much, but have no way out, on the day that he committed suicide, the meeting that he should preside over, the negotiator's report of listening to coming back from Germany. There are thing of preparing to revitalize the foundation of Chinese football, the enterprises that originally agreed to provide funds, some shrink back at the last moment, this makes too and then great and extremely anxious, the mind is extremely bad; The wife has suffered from cancer in the family, if the wife passes away, 80 -year-old old Mother and study son that work as a temporary labourer in Canada, should what do? Is it this his mood? Does �Ϊ� spit Huan? The psychological expert says: It is a pair of twins to be anxious and depressed, have developed into a certain degree for being anxious, frightened, people will enter setback, foil, feel guilty, guilty depressed state since, it impels to be and then great to choose, leave finally, " the invisible depression " . 4 self-respect why high or low prices relate to family education in the course of growing up, some people have very low self-respect, do but some people develop higher self-respect out? (1)Have a sentimental attachment for relation psychology to think: In the childhood, " had a sentimental attachment for (or depended on) Concern " Set up well, moulding to self-respect is very beneficial. Case: Wang Bei's friend says: "Wang Bei likes wearing the cap, she says that thinks that there is not sense of safety without wearing the cap. " Perhaps this is a true one Wang Bei, feels self-humiliation in the heart a bit. Self- acceptance of Bei Wang bad, heart have sense of safety, this might parents divorce relevant very early as a child with her. A child was born, followed the important person (mother, father,etc.) One established at first concerns letting " Have a sentimental attachment for the relation " . " have a sentimental attachment for the demand " Unless it get it satisfy, sense of safety heart,will experience " the course of splitting up "s natural ,Namely people have had gradually " ego consciousness, it is known who I am, know my demand, confirm my value " . If the living environment is defective, for instance parents around, or bring up mutual prevarication,etc. to children after criticizing each other, divorcing between parents, will all be because of not getting parents' care, heart can not produce sense of safety, believe in the sense, the division not had, and then cause low self-respect. (2)Praise it in development of growing up appropriately, is approved by enough parents including school teacher, very important to could form positive ego consciousness ing. Case: Art school in location grows, the appearance is good, but her heart feels self-humiliation very much, thinks oneself very ugly. The reason is, as a child, her little uncle liked taking pictures for her cousins, and does not take the picture for her. In fact it is a pupil that her little uncle just dislikes her, being not so good as the cousins who study in the middle school will pose; Art school, in the classmate, one appearance not so good as she, and stature plump classmate but fat for the honour with a one's own one very much, say, " is not Han Hong very fat? The fat stature is the good audio amplifier, the sound that emits is more pleasant! " Her high self-respect, since her mother has the viscount in the friend at first for reason, the friends of her mother and mother like to her very much, always praise her: "So lovely little princess! " Self- concept forms and others' certainly having something to do with, if always belittle, it is apt to cause low self-respect. The child developed not yet complete in intelligence in the childhood, the important standard which they judged to one's own behavior, come from others' appraisal, the person's appraisal especially most on intimate terms. If parents often affirm the child's achievement, ability,etc., let children experience one's own value and be liked, then they will accept oneself, including one's own ability and feature,etc. unconditionally, that is to say people often say " Feel good oneself " ,This helps the forming of high self-respect. (3)The ones that require too on the self-respect foundation of level " The perfect doctrine " , " keep improving " ,Have a relation with parents' education way very much. Case: Friend say shellfish Wang to " pursue perfect girl extremely. " When Wang Bei is very small, mother entertains the great expectation to her. In 2001, after Wang Bei grew the identity and took part in the entrance exam of and entered the high school with art, studied the piano, dance, vocal music, specialized achievement has been one of the best in the class all the time. In the three year, she insist on, train larynx, practise every day, the intersection of mother and with her every day, she practise, mother run, temper in bank of the river. Case: Boss great to come from distinguished family is the intersection of Anhui and the intersection of general term for paulownia, phoenix tree and tung tree and the intersection of city and square offspring of bud side have in front of the Shanghai Volkswagen, been bearing the hope of revitalizing the family since childhood. A lot of parents set up tallly to require, so as to urge on the child for the child. As the child can not reach, they say: " whether the do in the test not all right, leave time take, refuel " ; As the child has reached, they say again: " whether good this time, but capability of you should can do in the test well " . Whether the child has reached the goal, the one that was heard is always: " not good enough, want the efforts again " . In these " The order " Leave, will let people produce oneself forever good enough, but does not like oneself, self-confidence is insufficient, need, rely on the intersection of stranger and fine appraisal, come, make the intersection of oneself and the intersection of heart and balanced low self-respect psychology. It is good not to satisfied with the current situation, follow after progress. But if this person has been in the state of low self-respect all the time, the environment of the surrounding area has been wanting him to progress all the time, his personality is very easy to be will be twisted. (4)Admit child's parents' unconditional fondness and admittance of the child, forming to its self-respect, it is very important. Case: That woman boss of plump foreign trade company saying above, their parents are all civil servants. She as a child achievement medium-sized, like until schoolboy crazy to play with, although father shook the head, say one's own daughter will not have great prospects, but think her hospitable, honest and liking helping people, will become one later " The good person " ,Have not just given her too much pressures in study. Psychology thinks, the achievement has difference of level, but human nature value has no difference. If parents can watch that treat children with such value, the child can appreciate one's own achievement and advantage. When they did well, they can tell oneself simply: " I do very well, I can have a rest " ,In this way they will accumulate more strength, go to meet and fetch the new goal. The woman boss in the case originally takes office in a company of foreign enterprise of Shanghai, get married, go back to Nanjing to open the company. The friends say: She is a self-confident, happy person. 5 try hard, let oneself to be happy to stand up personality take shape very difficult to change already, low self-respect person that, in order to be far away from psychological illness, how to let oneself try hard to be getting happy? Should know oneself first, if find that " especially values others' appraisal by oneself, want to pursue the perfection especially " ,Is it one to watch out for oneself soon " Low self-respect " Person. If find oneself is " Low self-respect " ,Will make great efforts to change cognition soon: For instance, when not succeeding, please don't blame oneself, consider objectively, one's own efforts, on walking. "The intersection of ' ultra woman ' and the intersection of achievement and other people, create the intersection of I and shellfish Wang, the intersection of I and good shellfish Wang absolutely not! " May be very difficult to think of like this, but only could make oneself a little happier like this. Moreover, should be " according to one's own actual ability and external environment condition " To confirm the suitable ideal, choose those to suit oneself, can make the activity of the achievement, favorable to increasing self-respect like this. But not regardless of the consequences, go to crowd the single-plank bridge, act as the star. In addition, the behavioral information feedback of succeeding in time, can also improve the individual's self-respect level. The person of low self-respect, often very anxious, can't reach the eye? Rate of ���� led, orphan of Gao, orphan, cottonrose hibiscus of ��, lead the intersection of �Ϊ� and the intersection of the sixth of the twelve Earthly Branches and rice invite on land man glue ostrich all of a sudden ���� Li looks gray �� lucky to invade the intersection of toe and the intersection of Ju and value scratch Gao's bone peaceful whetstone have It protect �� Li pieces of Tong ��� book Tong ���ˬ� of �� 1 cherry Pus brilliant last Chu quilt value decayed tooth �� rice to last boat moat kneecap glue ostrich �� all of a sudden that Yues fatherless? You had better go to see the setting sun sets, go to take exercises at dusk, to the relaxed mood of going instead of the high mountain by water. He (she) Kith and kin,definite they when had better praise constantlying, but not like Wang Bei's mother, urge her to attain a yet higher goal. If " extremely anxious, the mind is extremely bad " ,You had better take them to see a psychologist. (Li Lanling)
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